Dear Gabriella

I have a problem with my child's father and his wife. Whenever there is a concern with our child and communication with me and the father is warranted, his wife does not want me to talk to him directly, but to talk to her and she supposedly passes on the message. I think this is ridiculous! I don't see the harm in talking to him when it concerns our son. She tired this before but it created animosity between me and the father and I later found out she lied to him. I tried to explain to him but he don't believe me. He believes I'm the one who creates the problems, so I stop all communications with him. The wife still calls me every now and then as if she's concern about us. I don't want to talk to her because she creates problems with me and the father and even with his family. How should I address this?

Dear Gabriella

Today at this point in life we must choose who we are going to enjoy this rollcoaster ride of life with. This rollcoaster ride has its up and down, in and out. So who you choose say alot about you and where you are going in life. Things like is he or she the one for that moment or for a lifetime. Can you see yourself with out him or her? When do you draw the line between friends and who is really there for you on this ride? How do we know if some is just using you for what they can get out of you? I want some just to be straight up and real with me at all time in my life. Why do we have to lie to the ones we love? If we really care anything about there feeling we would be able to tell them anything at anytime. Why must we go throught things over and over again. I just upset and need all the help I can get.

I think my problem in the world today is focusing on men and child support. My thing is when men are working to pay child support,and they are not able to pay like they should. The fathers explain to the mothers to let them know what is going on, the mother is fine with that at first and when the mothers don't get money for a while the mothers want take them to court so that the fathers could go to jail. That is not right, because what can the fathers pay when they are sitting in jail? My point the fathers can't pay anything sitting in jail. I think the fathers that are trying to do their best to pay child support should not have to go to jail. My thing is that the fathers that are not doing anything and running from the law and trying to get away from their responsilty should be the ones going to jail.

I guess my problem with the world would be people don't have enough time for their childern. It burns my nerves all the way to the ends. WHY? First of all why have childern if you don't want to take care of them. Everyday you see on the news some mother (cause you rarely see the fathers kill their kids cause they will NOT pay child support!) kill her kids. In December a mother killed her kids cause she needed time for herself to be on the internet! WHAT? I don't even have time for my self. It's all about my kids. Secondly what happened to family night or just sitting down with the kids having a real family dinner talking about the day. I have to admit my family has failed in this area. The TV has ruined the world. I remember as growing up I couldn't watch TV during the week only on the weekends that's Saturday and Sunday. Every night we had dinner as a whole. We may ahve not talked about much but I knew that if I need to talk to someone I could. The last thing is everyone who goes to church no matter what religion you are should bring thier childern up in the church to. I know from my own personal experience GOD is a need and a want. My mother pasted away when I was 8 and even if she didnt go to church she made me go. My great aunt reared me too and she went to church every sunday! From the time I was 8 to at least 22 I only missed 2 sundays. That was just because I was sick. If you have child pay attention to them sometimes what we mistake their misbehaviors for beeing BAD but sometimes it's a cry for help. I know this because alot of mu outbreaks came from deep pains in my life that NO ONE listened to me about. Understand you are the parent and a friend to a current degree. STOP EATING INFRONT OF THE TELEVISION ALL THE TIME AT DINNER TIME!!!!!!!!! And if you go to church make your kids go to. Everyone can be enlighted.

Dear Gabriella

I have a very close friend her background culture is hispanic, she speaks very little english. She is a very brilliant person in her country. She doesn't know anyone in the United States.She is afraid to make friends because she feel they may not understand half of the time what she's talking about. "She states that she feels lonely and lost at times". She has made up in her mind that she wants her life to be better than it was when she was growing up. She doesn't want to struggle like her parents did. She states, "Her parents were very good people, but they didn't have any background education and couldn't speak any english, so it was hard to communicate with others. " Her fear is very troubling because she feels as though she may not succeed. What do you feel I should do in my situation?

Love & Sex

Dear Gabbie,
When you hear the topic love and sex what comes to your mind? When the topics surf the world most people mainly teenagers believe that in order for their relationship to have some meaning and to keep their man happy they must have SEX. After they've had sex with their mate they then believe that their mate LOVES them. In all reality it was a game, full of lines. Life is fully of fantasies and in most girls what they think is LOVE is just a "jump off" for most guys. They tell you what they want you to hear so they can get in "between".
I think that women have the upper hand over guys and should take a stand and say no instead of giving guys the upper hand over their sexuality needs (virginity). They need to expand their horizons and seek more in life than men, sex, and drugs. Education is very important in this days and times and I believe that they should focus more on that and then think about the life of love with a man. In life there are so many different things that woman could do to show their love. How would/could you show you love to a man. Is sex a main priority in a relationship?

Dear Gabriella:

The year is 2008 and are we ready for an african american president or female president? I think that we are ready for change but will that world accept the change. Will the war suddenly end or will it take four more years? How much will change? Will gas price go down? I really need that last question to happen fast or even first. It is time for us to make history and to vote in record numbers. Recently I learned that African American do not have the right to vote it is a privilege. So that mean when ever congress wants to take that privilege they can. Do we live in the 1960s or what? I want to know when will be the day that we will be equal?

Dear Gabriella

Hello Gabriella,
I have a situation that I need some help with. I have a grandson that seems to always want to act out (show bad behavior). He was the only child for the first 3 years of his life. And it was my daughter and grandson for the first 2 years of his life. His biological father did not want anything to do with him. Then my daughter meet this man who is in the Navy, they got married and my son-in-law adopted my grandson. And they had a little girl. His mother is a stay at home mom. She is very much involved in thier lives. She is a good mom.
Ok, now on with the situation, My grandson seems to always do things to get introuble. If he is put in the corner for bad behavior, he will stand right there and peepee on himself. Or he will do something else to get his parents. I suggested that my son-in-law do things with my grandson alone, like fishing, camping you know that boy stuff. please help me with anyother suggestions.

Dear Gabriella

Dear Students:

For your Gabriella blog please be sure to maintain all your courtesies, politeness, etc. Some of us might air our hearts and other sentsitive issues. That is why we need to be very mindful of each other.

Here goes:

Dear Gabriella:

I have a problem with the come-ons from some men. For example, some laggards who may have taken a shower 4-5 days earlier, and therefore smell and look funky make such a strong pitch for a woman to go out with them. Who wants to smell them? Or be near them. God forbid even sharing a space with them. Why can't they realize this?

Most often they make a pitch for a well groomed woman who has a keen sense of self worth. Please convey to these wackos that we are not flattered, and that they should take showers if they want to even make small talk to a woman esp. one who has good self-esteem.

One who loves spanking clean men!